They say honesty is the best policy. I personally think a little white lie here and there is sometimes the best policy. Nothing good comes out of telling your friend they look fat in their favorite outfit or that their new haircut makes them look like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber.
In all your classes your professors tell you that Academic Integrity is not only morally right, but it is the only way to pass your classes. This makes all of those long hard essays I talked about in my last post seem even more grueling. How is it possible to write five or eight pages with only your own words?!
Easy, when you truly understand what it means to have Academic Integrity. You can use other people’s words! Just quote them. My learning assistants help me name drop long meaningful quotes into all of my essays. These quotes not only take up space, they allow you to use other people’s ideas and words to support your own claims. Another important thing to remember when you work so hard on spinning out those pages is you can still tell a lie. You just cannot lie about statistics or use other people’s works as your own. But! You can actually tell five pages worth of lies, if they are your own lies. I have done it.
An essay for my communications class required me to explain a failed relationship I have been in and analyze why it failed. Just between you and me, I haven’t had enough relationships to talk about how they failed. A week isn’t enough relationship to analyze for a five page paper. Like I said in my last post, I enjoy sitting in the classroom and complain to my LA’s and advocates (advocates are like mini LA’s, they only work a few hours a week rather than all week like LA’s). I believe my droning went something like, “I don’t know how to write this paper! I haven’t even had a relationship since fifth grade and I don’t remember that one well enough to analyze it for five pages.”
“Make a relationship up,” said one of the Advocates.
So I did. It was five pages of why my relationship with Jimmy failed. It analyzed all the stages of ending a relationship, just as our instructor wanted. I got a high A on the essay. It turns out my imaginary relationship which came to a terrible imaginary end, was a beautiful relationship with my GPA. My Res’ College staff help me out so much. They keep me inspired to do more and better yet they informed on what is safe to say and what would get me into trouble.
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