As I write these blogs, i’m learning that a lot of it is about my life with very little inspirational things. So yeah, after this one I’ll get back on track, but I just have to brag on myself for a minute.

I know it’s hard to tell because I look homeless and half asleep in class 99% of the time, but last week a signed a modeling contract with an agency in Little Rock. I’m just really proud of myself because i’ve never modeled before or anything. The most experience I have was when I used to watch “America’s Next Top Model,” so I’m kind of a little bit excited and proud of myself.  But yeah, I just thought I would let you guys know how everything went because I was talking about it in earlier blogs!

If you believe in yourself and have enough confidence, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to!

So if you cannot tell, I have been absolutely freaking out about jobs searches and finding work that is more professional from retail? I mean, yall, I have been freaking out. It’s kind of sad. It seriously eats me up because I really need a better job. I’m completely financially on my own so it’s KIND OF important. Before I go any further let me just let you guys know that I’m an unbiased Christian. I know it sounds weird, but I just think that everyone can believe what they want. If you want to be Buddhist, that’s cool. If you want to  be atheist that’s cool too. I just don’t care what anyone’s religion is. I’m not going to try to convert anyone just because they are different. (Ryan is probably freaking out right now….haha.) I just believe that my relationship with God is a private thing. That’s just me though, I know a lot more people are vocal…but that’s just the way I am. 🙂

But anyways, I go to church literally every Sunday with my boyfriend, unless i’m working,  because staying connected with our faith is super important to us as a couple. Back to this work thing, I have been praying super hard about it. Like literally every night I have been praying for a miracle, ANYTHING to help me after graduation. I know God hears everything, but lately I have just been really discouraged because nothing has been working out for me career wise. Well, when I walked into church this past Sunday the pastor walked up to me and asked me how I’m doing and my usual answer was, “Same thing, just work and school. Still stressing about finding a job and just graduating in general.” He just gave me his usual encouraging words and said, “you’ll really enjoy the message this morning. God is going to work everything out.”

The whole message that morning was about how God works everything out for our good. Instead of being upset and worrying about everything, we should just trust God and understand that everything will work out in due time. Even though I already knew these things, it was just good to hear it again. As crazy as it sounds, I feel like God wanted my pastor to preach that message this past Sunday because of how i’ve been freaking out lately. Even though it’s only Monday night, I still feel at peace from that message and I know that God has everything under control and his plan for me is better than anything I could have even planned for myself.

So yeah, I’m gonna be quiet and step off of my soap box now. I hope this gave you guys a little peace of mind and maybe inspired you a little as well.  I know you guys are freaking out just as much as me! We are almost there!

One thing I have come to notice lately is that finding a job for after graduating is not easy at all. I would think that companies would love to hire recent graduates because we can bring a fresh perspective to the business. But no, I have been applying to numerous places and I never get called back for an interview.

It is so frustrating,  I make pretty good grades. I’m super driven and I want to work, and my resume is good!  All of my references, old bosses, and professors love me so I don’t understand. With basically only 2 months to go, i’m sort of freaking out. I’m going to college so I don’t have to struggle, but right now it just seems like college is making things harder. I’ve never had to try this hard for a job before.

Also, I’m not super crazy religious, but I do believe that God will lead me to the best job when the time is right. His time is not our time…but he’s always on time. I’m trying to keep faith and stop worrying, but it’s easier said than done. UGH! I need some inspiration…

Is anyone else having this problem?

Okay, for those of you who have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, I hope you can relate to this post. For those of you who don’t and lovey things make you sick, you might want to skip this post and go vomit somewhere.

Since I love all things inspirational, and this past weekend was Valentine’s weekend, I thought I would share with you one of my greatest inspirations, my boyfriend. I know it’s sappy and I won’t go into tons of detail about my love life, but he inspires me so much. He’s the hardest worker I know. He’s in school full time, works 2 jobs, and is a DJ AND just joined a cover band for some extra cash. I don’t know HOW he does it. I just go to school and work and I feel like I live the most stressful life on the planet. That alone inspires me to do so much more than what I already do. Also, he never complains about any of it. If he does complain he just talks about how he’s tired, but I mean, who wouldn’t be after all of that? He always believes in my dreams, sometimes more than I believe in them myself. He’s always telling me about how I can do anything and how i’m so smart and beautiful. On top of all that he’s always trying to brighten up my day when i’m stressed out. This is a tough job because i’ve been applying for SO MANY jobs for after graduation but none of them are working out. My boyfriend deserves an award for putting up with my complaining.

He’s just a super great person and I love him so much. He inspires me to keep going and to never give up.

P.S.- For those of you that are curious, my modeling agency called me back and i’m going in tomorrow to look over their contract.

This blog is going to be more of a rant than anything inspirational, just to warn you.

I cannot even begin to explain to you how some people’s ignorance bothers me. Like, I just can’t even deal with some people because they are just stupid. I know that’s not politically correct, but some people are just stupid. Not the individuals who literally have some form of mental illness, just fat dumb ignorant rednecks. I cannot even deal.

For instance, yesterday I went to Target because I had to get gift bags and a card for my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. But of course, when I first went in there I had to stop around the little dollar section to see if they had any cute little Valentine’s Day nick nacks and plus, i’m just really broke so I always look through that section before I go look at other sections of the store. So anyways, I’m looking around and this hugely obese lady on a hover round comes down the little aisle and I scoot over because it’s the polite thing to do. I didn’t mind that, until she decided to hover through my aisle 3 more times for the short time that I was looking at things. That was kind of annoying, but I got over it.

Then I wondered over into the clothes section because I realized I needed a new cami. Well, as I’m looking, low and behold, fat hover round rolls back over towards me. This time she isn’t alone though, she has a friend with her. Not surprisingly, it’s another super obese lady in a hover round. This annoys me SO MUCH! Like, there are probably really old people or legitimately someone who is crippled and you and your friend are too lazy to walk around so you took the hover round shopping carts. UGH! So, i’m looking and I hear one of the ladies say, “I’m looking, but I can’t find the plus size section. They must not have one because I looked all throughout the clothes section. I mean, that is just ridiculous! I get Target won’t be getting my business anymore.” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?! Yes, granted I may not know your life story. You may have some disease where you can’t lose weight or WHATEVER. But I just couldn’t even handle the irony at this point. You do realize that maybe if you walked around once in a while, you might be able to wear average sized clothes…maybe be healthier for yourself in the long run…..maybe even look better and be socially acceptable, but no. You are just gonna hover around Target and complain. Just…no..

Am I totally heartless for this post? I don’t really don’t care, but I just could not handle how ignorant some people are. If anything, it gave me inspiration to never give up on my health goals and to never ever become that ignorant.

End Rant.

Everybody has these right? I mean, I know all girls do at least. Society tells us that all girls long to be tallish and skinny, and from what I’ve noticed SO many girls that I know (mostly what I’ve noticed from my friends) is that this is true. Unfortunately for me, that is not the case.

As all of you have noticed, i’m sure, I am really skinny. Most people think, “too skinny.”  I’ve become used to it and I like my body now, but growing up I hated being so skinny. I always got tortured in school. I had peers always questioning if I had an eating disorder or people would always ask me if I ever ate, but I love food ya’ll. I ate all the time. Sometimes I would over eat just so I could maybe gain weight and be average like everyone else. I hated it.

Like I said, I love being skinny, but I hate the comments. Even now in the present, being skinny has such a negative connotation. For instance this past year during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, I never heard one positive comment. Everyone on my social media was talking so much smack about the models. What if they were naturally skinny? In my opinion, body bashing is body bashing. I would never go up to a super curvy girl  and say, “Woah, you are really fat. You should go on a diet.” So I don’t understand why it’s okay for individuals to go up to a naturally thin person and say, “Oh my God, you are so skinny. You need to go eat something.” Just because I’m skinny doesn’t mean some comments aren’t annoying.

I think everyone is beautiful in their own way. I wish more girls would just accept eachother for who they are. Skinny, fat, tall, or short, everyone has something to embrace. This doesn’t mean that we don’t come with insecurities, it just means that we should all find inspiration in our own beauty.

I’ve even taken this thought a step further lately. Since I have become comfortable in my own skin, which has taken years of self acceptance, I decided last week to try out modeling. It’s something that i’ve always been interested in, I just never really had the confidence. This past Friday I got a call back from an agency that i’ve been interested in and today I did a test shoot to see if they want to sign me. I should know by the end of the week and I’m really excited!

So take a second to think about yourself. Instead of thinking about the things you dislike about yourself, how about you think about the things that make you unique! What are your favorite attributes about yourself? If you have a significant other, what do they love about you? Your parents? Your friends? Everyone has something special and wonderful about them. Choose to love yourself and the world around you just may do the same!

So as I said, I would write another blog about this past weekend so here it is! I am now an aunt! My sister had her baby Friday night and it was so good to finally be an aunt, which makes me feel old but is super cool.

When I first got to the hospital I didn’t even want to be in the delivery room. I’ve seen way too many pregnancy scenes from movies. I expected my sister to be in tons of pain and crying and all sweaty and gross, but it wasn’t like that at all. My mom convinced me to go in pre-baby and just let my sister know that I was there. We had atleast 10 people in there before she went into full labor, which I guess I thought was against the rules? The delivery room was nothing like I thought. It was super zen and calm. It literally looked like a bedroom. There was a closet, a tv, recliners, tables for if you wanted to eat in there, and the floors were even wooden. It almost looked like a nice hotel room. I always imagined that It would look like a doctors office; everything sterile and white. So that was definitely strange. And also, my sister looked like her normal self. After her epidural, she was in absolutely no pain, even when she started to push. It was just nothing like the horror stories or movies that I had seen.

So yeah, and then my nephew came. I never thought I could love a newborn so much! Especially since new babies kind of freak me out. They are just so little and fragile and it makes me nervous to even hold them. Right when I saw him, I just loved him so much. It was such a cool experience. I’m sure if any of you have nieces or nephews, you understand. Let me tell you, nothing is more inspiring than seeing a newborn. (As weird as that sounds…) What a little miracle. It just made me want to try and be the best person I could be; the best aunt, just basically the best ME.

Wow, I have probably had the craziest weekend of all time. So instead of writing one long boring blog, i’m going to separate it into two to save everyone the boredom. You’re welcome.

So yeah, first off, at the beginning of this week I finally dropped off my graduation application, which was surprisingly simple might I add. For UCA I was for sure that it was going to be some daunting task. The only thing I didn’t agree with was the fee that you have to pay a $30 fee. Like, are you serious? I have forked out thousands of dollars of my own money, and have taken out loans for you and I STILL have to pay $30 JUST to turn in my application? You’re kidding right?

But yeah, other than the fee, I am so super excited to be graduating in the Spring. If anything, turning in my application made me really inspired to just try extra hard and go the extra mile in all my classes so I can boost up my GPA for the Spring. I hope those of you who are graduating feel the same way! WE ARE ALMOST DONE!!!!

Don’t forget, applications are due this Friday!